Sometimes I wish I could rewind the clock and take back something I said or did in the past. More importantly, I daydream about a different outcome. The pain I inflicted would lessen, at the very least. Perhaps even a relationship would have survived in spite of my foibles.
I cannot travel back in time to change things, however. Nor will my perseverations yield any substantive results.
It doesn't help me to beat up on myself. It does help to view the past with cool detachment. I can discern lessons I learned and changes I made to avoid making the same mistakes.
In other words, I've learned to treat my past with kid gloves. To do otherwise would perpetuate negative self-talk. In turn, it would risk repeating the same mistakes and living in the defects that gave rise to them.